I had a dream last night where the sun died. In the dream, everyone was worried. Lots of people tried to do lots of things, but nothing worked. A child fell in the ocean. It was so cold the child froze. Someone tried to fix the sun, make it go back up — but no, it would not work. Someone else tried to make a car work. Someone else tried to help the person trying to fix the sun. Nothing worked.
— Untranslated —
I was in the dream for a moment. I wanted to go to the store and buy all the warm things because I knew that you had figured out how bad it would get. People just didn’t know yet. I didn’t try to argue, but I wanted to protect what I could before it was too late.
I looked for you, but you would not come back to me.
I woke up, fell back asleep, and still — I was in this broken world, looking for you. I looked up at the sky to see if the broken sun was anywhere in sight. Instead, I saw the moon, a mere sliver but huge and close to the earth. And I thought, the moon too is almost through now.
I went on, wondering how long the badness would take to settle in. I went on looking for you. You did not come to me.
I already know the meaning of these things.
My sun is done, and my moon too. I have little light and little warmth to go by. We already knew how things would go. The science was already known. Others have plod along this road. And yet, my heart still looks for you.
I will stop being sick as of today. I will go back, full-time, to my studies. And I will craft a tongue to make new sounds I had never known before now.
Then: 日、月、星 — we will see. Maybe I can fix the sky after all. Maybe I can touch new lines. Maybe, just maybe, I’m the one.
And if not?