Passing ghosts

Oh, I did everything I was told to do.
Everything everyone says or thinks you’re supposed to do.
But, ama-sa.
I’m still bleeding your blood out
Spilling myself for nothing on the carpet.
Can you help?

Sticks and stone could break these bones,
sure.
But who’s the one to throw?

Those without thorns
splinters
barbs in and underneath their skin.
Whoever hasn’t ever felt the burn
from the poisoned drugs we’re swimming in.

Have you drown yourself in sorrow yet?
How does the pity feel?
Worse than hate or regret.

So hit me in the stomach
and I’ll quit this belly-aching.
Reference god and men’s genitalia
You know I’m sure to bow down
A good girl to play along.

Tug this chain and get the good ones moving.
Crack a whip and brand a scar.
This horse has a few more feet left in ‘er.

The violence, the hatred of you
stirs in me the violence of a millenia.
Of ages and histories,
risen and fallen.
The aggressive anger of the bared teeth
of a people with a cut-down power.

My fight like lightbulbs
has all burned out.
I’m ash and crimson dust
at the feet of another vindictive dictator
I’m supposed to feel sorry for.

Do you fight with violence — bittersweet
and prick the bottoms of your victims feet
with poison needles that only sting when they stand too high?

I bet you had those guidelines handed down to you.
Have you inherited a world you like?
Is this earth the earth you thought?
Have you dipped a finger into your blood
and tasted the chemical demise?
Do you feel your roots going dry?

Have you even tried?

Images of a blood red moon
in my constellar arrangement
bleed planetary dust of atoms and a muse.
The words fuel madness
in a metaphorical sense
outside of the ring of your possible experiences.

I’m glad as gods you don’t understand.
You never did.
You never will.
Never heard but snatches of the words
with sounds attached to them.

My closure is a wall against a flood.
I’m only ever holding judgement back.
You have not been judged,
have not been cleared,
will not come out clean.

But wash your hands again, again, again. Please.
I have clean waters ready for you to ruin.
I have rotten flesh and meat and blood.

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