Phase Two

I pre-emptively adored you.
This is entirely my fault.

It’s just the nature of my nature or personality or inner workings.
Obsession on both sides of the spectrum.
Did I make that apparent?

I alternatively love and hate you because these were the god/devil,
good/evil
heaven/hell
concepts I was endlessly indoctrinated by.

When drunk and complicated, thses nasty patterns bleed out of me, spilling hot 98 degree judgement on whoever happens to come into contact.

I’ve got this dirty rag I frequently use to clean up the messes of my incoherent adolescence. It’s brown-stained and thick with the guilt of angels, demons, gods, and guilt. It’s crusted and no longer maliable, effective, useful. But still, it’s the one place of my abandoned past I just keep on going back to.

Overly complicated, shame-based edges of that tattered rag still haunt my drug-induced dreams.
Is this peace?
Is this tranquility?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s