the End

Two train tickets across the spread of land between where we had been and where we want to be. In twenty-five days, we’ll be back. If all goes according to planned. This is a bigger if than we had thought.

The world here is different, we have learned.
A life of travel and privilege seemed to say it did not matter. Not so much running from problems, but always having the same ability to face them.

Oh silly caterpillars. Did you not know?
Some plants are poisonous to you.
Eat and you can die.

We have gained a sense of this being true. We’ve been nibbling these nettles here, slowly taking in the needles here, digesting all this poison here. I think we’re full to the brim by now.

Alas. It’s time to go back.
A place where we can do the things we need to do to face the things we need to face to be the way we need to be.

It became so clear when the roads went nowhere and you couldn’t even take the ones that did. Stuck in a cage with lots of space – still, amazingly, feels like a trap. We got trapped. We tried to run – and just ran into ourselves.

The long tracks cutting deep lines across the deserts and the mountains will lead us back.
We will not drive this time.
We will take our bikes along for the ride.

It is not perfect, but it is better.
A good enough line to follow rather than go nowhere at all.

Soon, sunset. Soon, dusk.After mid-winter, we will be back.

What an adventure within ourselves we have had.
Did the star go out on the way up?
Were we climbing anywhere?
Was that little light even a star at all?

It glowed bright enough to see by, bright enough to seem light. Ah, but perhaps, minha amigo we were wrong to stuff it in this junky lantern.
It went out slow to cold.
While we watched it die, we did not know.

A star by any other name would glow as bright.
We have been misnaming things this whole time.

Now. What shall I call you by?


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