I came here because I needed some space to think. To spread my wings, let’s say. To breathe.
The last year has felt cramped, suffocating – like I somehow got myself stuffed into a box. A societal box. One that had no way out other than to ruin the box. I’m still in the process of destroying it. It’s a big fucking monster to fight. And, at times, it feels as though I’m just fighting alone.
Mostly, that is because it’s actually just within me. The box – a self-created illusion to keep myself safe from all the outside things I can’t take after a while.
In that way, I am like the characters I create. In that way, we all are.
Have our breaking points. Our weak points. Our downfalls. Our stumbling steps. Our shortfallings where we’re certain we’ll just never get over that fucking ledge.
And here I am, on that ledge looking down into some black abyss again.
This time, however, there might be some light on the brink of that horizon before me. And there might just be a place that, if I travel long enough and struggle hard enough, I might just make it to.
I don’t know it’s name. If I did, I wouldn’t say it. Saying it might make the illusion disappear. But it’s a safe place. The only one left.
I’m just trying to get there. Let’s see how well that goes.